• a report by Sean Peel for VHSANDCHILL.NET

“Tell me everything you remember about the True Cross.”

It’s January, 1993. Screenwriter Walon Green turns in a script for a film titled CRUSADE. Actor Arnold Schwarzenegger and director Paul Verhoeven sign on the dotted line. I am 12 years old.

It is November, 1993. Carolco Pictures agrees to finance the film for $100 million dollars. Verhoeven is location scouting in Spain and begins building sets.

Robert Duvall, Jennifer Connelly, John Turturro, and Christopher McDonald are all cast and eager to start production. Contracts are signed. Less than a year later, filming will begin.  

Schwarzenegger and Verhoeven have a final budget meeting with the studio. They are nervous about the costs. They ask for a guarantee. The Dutch filmmaker was going to object, but is kicked under the table by Arnold and agrees to the guarantee. Everyone at the table knows there’s no guarantees in this business. The green light is given.

It is May, 1994. One of the largest studio productions begins filming. Lighting is captured in a bottle. I am now 13 years old. The Flintstones is the #1 movie in America.

CRUSADE goes over budget. The studio feels fear as the demands from Verhoeven and Schwarzenegger grow, shattering the budget they had previously agreed on. It’s not the last time they will ask for more money.

A scathing report is published by the Hollywood Reporter, calling CRUSADE the Titanic of movies. They speculate the movie will destroy the studio and bankrupt the investors. A few days later Arnold will do a TV interview calling for calm and promising a movie like no other before vanishing back to Spain.

They call it ‘Arnie’s CRUSADE for the Lost Box Office’. They explain that the movie would have to be the highest grossing film of all time to break even. The public is frothing at the mouth for Verhoeven and Schwarzeneggers’ metaphorical blood.

In July of 1995, CRUSADE opens to worldwide critical and box office acclaim. It breaks all previous records. CRUSADE fever sweeps the nation. After an astounding 10 months in theaters, CRUSADE leaves theaters. I see it 6 times at my local cinema. I am 14 years old.

Paul Verhoeven and Arnold Schwarzenegger get 10 nominations and win 7 Oscars at the 68th Academy Awards. This was the arrival of the dawn of a new type of blockbuster. A true golden age of cinema between the two goes on for another decade hit after hit.

It is Christmas 1996, Jingle All the Way is a modest hit for Schwarzenegger and was negatively reviewed by critics. In 2014, the film is followed by a sequel in name only, Jingle All the Way 2, starring Larry the Cable Guy.

As I lie to myself, it is December 2024. I am drinking a Red Bull Vodka and imagining a past where Verhoeven didn’t honestly answer the studio execs that there’s no guarantees in filmmaking.

It is December 1992, Carolco has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. CUTTHROAT ISLAND opens to a measly $10 million dollars against a $100 million dollar budget.

“Take a look around. Take deep breath and with the stench of death in your nose, go tell God you’ve restored His kingdom.”
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